A new depression rant but funnier this time. But dark.

I recently discovered I love comedy.  I even took a stand up comedy course, and did my first show right before covid hit. Check out my first show on you tube here:

I love it because it forces my brain into the land of nonsense, so instead of focusing on really sad things I just laugh.  I prefer to laugh so I don’t cry. 

Hey remember my last ranting post that was about relationship advice? And all the Nathans? Well this one’s about depression.  The guy I thought was gonna finally be the guy that sticks recently informed me he is too depressed to be a boyfriend.  I have come up with a whole stand up comedy set based on this experience! Maybe if you subscribe to my youtube channel, you can one day see it on there too. Here’s a comic I put out from the era.


So what’s so funny about depression anyways? What isn’t?! Your brain is telling your body to sabotage everything good about its world, and now you are challenged with fighting it back for control.  Hilarious!  A lot of us have lived through nearly a year of a pandemic, so who isn’t experiencing a little bit of the sads, I would like to know.  It gets better folks.  I have read that intergenerational trauma can be passed down 7 generations.  So I am probably feeling the pain of my ancestors 7 generations ago.  WOW.  No wonder I’m so sensitive.  

My great-grandmother just turned 98 years old this week.  That means she was born in 1922. Within her lifetime, she has seen the great depression, WW2, women’s rights develop from not being considered legally people, to finally being allowed to open up a bank account without a husband’s signature in 1964.  She has lived through alot.  And that’s just 4 generations ago. I would have to go back to her grandmother to find out all the trauma that was passed onto me, and thats just one bloodline. Consider that 50 years ago it was not unheard of for a four-year-old girl to have a pin stuck in her tongue for the crime of speaking her mother language and later endure serial rape by teachers, religious mentors. Yes in Canada.  Yes, that is within my mothers lifetime.  How’s that for context.  If you wonder where the pain comes from that is causing so much addiction and suicide,  consider the source of intergenerational trauma.

I once hired my friend (who is also my tattoo artist), Naomi Kennedy to do a past life redemption for me.  Bless her she found some fucked up ghosts that were holding back my subconscious from blossoming and she did some hocus pocus for me.  She’s pretty awesome, look her up on facebook: 

N. Healing services – Past life redemptions +


I’m not going to pretend I understand her type of magic.  But I swear, she went back in time and found the crazy thing that happened in my past life thats holding me back now, and allowed me to move on from it. She has also ‘tried’ to help rid me of my family curse of being a strong and independent yet chronically single woman, but we’re still working on that. When I asked her for her current job title she responded: ‘I am a metaphysical life coach, a Black chord elder priestess of 13th house mystery school, N. Joy empowerment’. Love her.

I respect her, but I’m on a different train, at a different station.  I just threw my name in for yet another voluntary obligation: I am now the civilian co-chair for the Esquimalt National Defence Women’s Advisory Committee.  So this month on International Women’s Day, I am co-hosting a speaking event, and you can join us, but you’ll have to get in touch with me so I can sign you up for the zoom link. I will be the one struggling to be serious when all I want to do is enjoy the potential audience for my stand up comedy act.

For the rest of the day, I will be involved in the BCCWITT women in trades conference, which you can joining us for free here: https://whova.com/web/women12_202103/

I was also invited to participate in a women in trades panel, Homebuilders Association Vancouver (HAVAN) Women’s Council Café Series on March 24th: “Women In Trades.”  find out how to sign up on their webpage HAVAN.CA

I may be losing at relationships, but I’m winning at self care.  I did not fall very far this time.  I work out everyday, usually with stand up comedy playing in the background for motivation. Eat good, have a great job, and great home.  I have great family and great friends. I am able to see I am quite blessed and I know someone else’s depression is not my fault.

And for those that don’t know, I put out a trades related comic pretty much every week on instagram and facebook, under the name SHOP TALK TRADE COMICS. The motivation is to poke fun at the little things, and also the big things, but mostly to find humour where it could otherwise be taken seriously.  I love comedy because it’s one of the only places you can say the craziest things, and as long as you can make people laugh about it, it’s acceptable.   Like I always said, if you’re going to chop someone’s head off, you better gnaw on their hand too so they think you’re real crazy.  That way you can be like the murderer on the greyhound bus in Winnipeg, you’re get out of jail free card comes with a certified insane stamp. In closing, we only have control over our own perspective and how we choose to react. I put a lot of work in to find a perspective that works for me so I don’t sink into depression. It is so far very worth the effort.


5 thoughts on “A new depression rant but funnier this time. But dark.

  1. What a great post! Sorry to hear about it not working out. I admire you talking out “the blues”, in laughter and helping all that feel “the Blues” but can still put it in to perspective with a smile


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